Get My Name Right

Jan 30

I know what it feels like to be unknown, and I don’t like it. I’m talking about people getting my name wrong.

Generally I actually do think that I’m a bit forgettable. That might sound sad, but it’s the truth. I don’t make terribly flattering first impressions. That’s just how it has been. It’s gotten better, I think, as I’ve grown into my skin, but it’s probably fairly true still.

Courtesy of flickr user Oxygen

Names are our unique key to life. It has a bit of our heritage in our surname, and it is the first gift that we are given. It’s a marking that we will have for our lifetime (that is unless we legally change it at some point). And it’s how we are known. Life would be different if we had a different name.

Considering all of this, it’s not exactly pleasant when someone forgets your name. It makes you feel (and probably accurately so) that you’re not important enough to be remembered by the one who forgot. Nobody likes to be reminded of how unimportant they are. Everyone wants to be special and being known is just the first step.

There have been a few instances where I’ve noticed this occurring to me. Thankfully it’s not exactly stuff that’s affected me, but it’s still noteworthy because I’m sure that there are many out there who wouldn’t take kindly to this happening to them.

At work we had a going away brunch for someone, and people from all different departments were there. As I was standing there, someone was loudly saying someone else’s name and looking at me. Now usually, it is a very bad idea to respond to these greetings in your direction that might not necessarily be for you. You know the wave from strangers who are actually waving to the guy right behind you. That kind of thing. In any case, I was not responding to this girl because I figured she must have been trying to get someone else’s attention. She eventually turns to her friend and says, “He’s not responding to me, I guess.” Then she gets even closer to me and says this other guy’s name.

Granted I was sideways so she only had a profile view. I turned to her, and I said that I was not who she thought I was. She realized her mistake and fell silent. That’s right, lady. You’re wrong.

The same day as the first example, I was walking by someone’s desk, and he said, “What’s up, —–?” This other name was another Asian guy in our department. I knew that he was talking to me because nobody else was around, and I said, “It’s Derek, not ——.”

The bad thing is that he does know the difference between us. We traveled for quite a few days together! And we work in the same department! This one was probably a more honest slip of the tongue, but I still thought it pretty amusing considering that it was the same day. To exacerbate the matter, the same guy cc’d me on an e-mail and spelled my name Derrick. And we’ve been working together for about 15 months. Lovely, just lovely.

So another instance where forgetting a name can be bad is if you remember the other person’s name, and they do not remember your name. Bad beans. If you both forget, it’s acceptable. But if you both do not, all is not right.

So I recently went to a fellowship group again after not going for a couple of months. I remembered a few of the people’s name because of talking to them or because I secretly actually knew stuff about them. Haha creepy as that might sound, it was more like an “I know that they asked my friend out, but they don’t me” kind of deal. In any case, it was no good for me to remember their names since they forgot mine. Boo hoo.

So basically we all need to learn these things:

• We need better memories

• All Asians do not look alike

• Get more confidence so you don’t care if people forget your name because you’re above that

• Don’t respond to women who are yelling, no good can ever come of it