That's Not Why I Pay Taxes

Jun 25

Dear Police Officer,

I would just like to say that I am thankful that you are around. You provide some semblance of safety and law in this crazy world. All sorts of characters cross paths with you on a daily basis, and you face the type of unknown danger that I will likely never experience.

And yet on that note, I would like to say that you have no right to take taxpayer money and leave your stupid car on just so you would not have to experience 15 seconds of discomfort when you get back into your car. As gas is so expensive nowadays (and even worse such that I want them to Give It Back after money that they have been Sneakily Selfish in obtaining), I know that there is definite waste going on over there.

I could not even believe that you would leave your car in such a state. As I walked from the bank to Jamba Juice, I happened to walk near your car. I heard a sound that seemed as if something was going on. I doubled back just to check if my suspicions were true. Yep, there your car was with its engine running and nobody in the car. And you were nowhere to be found. I had seen you earlier sauntering into Corner Bakery for who knows what. Let’s hope that there was some sandwich-snatcher there that you had to apprehend.

Some thoughts crossed my mind such as I wonder how crazy it would be to open the door (for you must have left it open if your key was in the ignition) and take off with your car or how lazy and in need of comfort must you be to do such a thing! Sure I understand that at 80 degrees in California, you’ve got it bad. Real bad. Life is hard and A/C is the only thing that can save you.

But you did all of this on my dime. Yes, mine. I do not give money to the government so that you can do this. Okay well I mainly give money because I have to. But if I did have a choice, I would not give it so that you could do that! Please think about what you’re doing next time. Or I’m going to have a talking with you. Alright, I’ll probably just rant about it again on my blog. But it will be an angrier one!

So stop it. No one likes a leach leech. They just want to squash them. Or if you’re Bear Grylls of Man vs Wild (rawr!) fame, you’d eat ‘em.

Sincerely, Derek